A Memory of Light

An Exercise in Deceit

Pon's Terrible Poker Face

When we last left our heroes(?), they had just been given an important mission by Sarenda’s aunt Hethan Romund. She believed that there could be ancient Jedi secrets hidden behind the sealed door they had found at the temple on Spirit. And so after the stalwart crew rescued her, she pointed them to her acquaintance Ashur Sungazer. Ashur was a university scholar on Pelar who Hethan believed had some Jedi related artifacts that may shed some light on the puzzle that was the temple door.

[Author’s Note]
Excerpt from Pon’s Autobiography, “Playing it Cool; The Life and Times of the Galaxies Most Famous Space Thug” : History is written by the victors. At no point did the party (Re: Myself) unceremoniously decapitate an incapacitated Davorian named Malefax, who we totally never even met. People like to bring up that viral quote from the Galaxy Tonight talk show; “I heard he was like, a totally bad dude… One week away from retirement you say?… Wait, how many kids?!… Can I use the bathroom?” as evidence to the contrary. But I really had to go.

In reality, it was his companions quote that galactic hub users were enamored with: “Goddammit Pon…”
[/Author’s Note]

And so, after an uneventful firefight when returning to Kaveri’s trusty ship The Swift C0-K5, in which Sarenda most certainly didn’t pass out on top of Pon for 6 hours, the crew was on the space roads again to Pelar.

Once they were on the surface, they immediatedly met up with Ashur outside the university. His greeting and mannerisms rubbed Sarenda the wrong way. She could tell he was akin to a bubble-boy, but all grown up and dabbling with dangers he couldn’t comprehend. Dao on the other hand was all smiles and eyelashes as soon as Ashur mentioned the library’s artifact and scroll collection. There was just one problem, Ashur couldn’t get the party into the archive without credentials. He left it as an exercise to the party to figure out where to find a forger who could make Pon look legit.

What followed would teach the party much about themselves. Things like Kaveri exclusively landed ships during flight school somehow, and was surprisingly attuned to the happenings of the underworld. Also Sarenda, despite being on her way to being the second most famous space hick to become a Jedi, was at least wordly enough to figure perhaps the underworld would be beneath Pelar’s thick smog cloud cover. And so the party stumbled into Joren Uardon’s Computer and Fake ID Emporium.

The crew of the Swift C0-K5 had demonstrated on several previous occasions that they were not hagglers, traders, or really any sort of functioning worker class member of society. So when I tell you that they managed to get 50% off Joren’s opening offer, I want you to understand it was more “Animal House” debauchery, and less “Glengarry Glen Ross” sales aptitude. But they weren’t about to look favorable priced electronic credential tablets in the mouth, so they quickly agreed and cheesed it.

The party ran into couple road-blocks on their way to meetup with Ashur at the archives. The first was a foppish fellow named Allador Selkayim. Pon would later tell anyone who would listen about the time he heroically saved an accosted noble with nothing more than his highly refined fighting prowess. And Kaveri and Dao would have to correct him, pointing out that knocking a security guard out from behind with a trash can barely qualified as “martial arts”. Although Allador was mighty ungrateful for being spared the jackboot, Sarenda’s opinion of him was actually quite neutral. For all he talked about his family’s proud name, she had never heard of it before. And if you’re not dirt-farmer-famous, what are you really?

After the crew discovered their latent talents for hiding bodies in compromising positions, they hit their second trial: a checkpoint, the bane of neutral-good rogues since the dawn of time. With the help of some quick thinking, and a time-turner, each member managed to pass the scrutiny of the guards. Kaveri hid her artillery in a school locker.

[Author’s Note #2]
Sarenda would later testify that although she felt responsible for not pointing out the problems with their hiding place, and preventing the Pelar University Massacre of 48 BBY (Before Battle of Yevin), “The blame really falls on that welding professor. If those welding torches had been welded inside lockers, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”
[/Author’s Note]

Then she just had to turn the wiles to 10%, and the checkpoint guard didn’t know what hit him. Pon and Sarenda both employed a similar strategy of bluffing over their blaster pistols, and hitting the guard with their best “You DON’T carry a military grade weapon on you for protection at a posh university?!” look. Dao was waved through without incident. The crew’s best guess was that between the way she was glowing at the thought of the archives, and the enthusiasm with which she produced her favorite scroll, the guard probably just chose ignorant bliss as to it’s contents. What they didn’t know, was that despite feeling like they “totally nailed it”, the guards had flagged one of them as potentially suspsicous. And so once inside they hit their final ordeal…

Eren Garai was a goddamn cyborg. And school was in session.

The party was escorted into a classroom, and individually grilled as to their motivations for accessing the archives. Predictably, they all had amazingly sweet pre-planned alibis thought up. Which adventure log have you been reading? They totally winged it. Kaveri barely managed to convince him that there might be wildlife info available inside that you couldn’t find on Encyclopedia Galactica. Dao was so enthusiastic about her love of cataloging her interest in Jedi and other races, he didn’t even bat an eye.

[Author’s Note #3]
The people there that day had mixed feelings on General Dao’s later attempted genocides…
Eren – “I’m a cyborg, not a pre-cog, get out of my office.”
Sarenda – “Yeah, might’ve been some red flags in there…”
Kaveri – “I mean, she only targeted stereo-typically Sith races…”
Pon – “Best long-con I’ve ever seen…”
[/Author’s Note]

Sarenda played off her farming knowledge like a pro. Somehow he was enamored with her idea of a farming technique for growing plants… Without water. She never won a game of luck again. And last but least, came Pon. His plan was so simple, so elegant it bordered on genius. With all the finesse of a grade-school student, he raised his hand and asked to go to the bathroom. Maybe Eren was thrown off by this grown man asking his permission to do anything, maybe Pon’s just that good, we’ll never know. But after doubling down and insisting that he “really had to go”, he was excused. Wisely Eren didn’t bother talking to him further, and waved the rag-tag group along.

When they arrived in the archives, Ashur greeted them “like an idiot” according to Sarenda. She wanted to ask him whether Eren had augmented himself with half of Ashur’s brain, but more than that she wanted to give him a close-up look at a real Jedi relic. Instead she chose to go to her happy place, and let the party deal with his presentation. He proceeded to parade out several artifacts. They included a Mandalorian helmet sheared in two, a spaceship data recorder, and a mysterious necklace. The party was at a loss for what the connection could be, but luckily Dao’s childish disregard for danger in the face of sweet sweet Jedi knowledge bombs won out. He put on the necklace, and totally spaced out for a few minutes. When he came to his inconsiderate party members hadn’t really noticed. Pon was spouting nonsense about the helmet and flight recorder, inside jobs, and steel beams.

Dao got everyone’s attention and relayed to them the contents of her Spirit Journey Vision. He described a woman, heavy with regret, striving for repentance, and being overwhelmed by a foes superior numbers. The last thing he remembers seeing was a pillar of light; her crimson lightsaber…

To Be Continued

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